Filter by Subcategory: {Praises for Provision} {Defeated ?}
March 25, 2006
Day two of the retreat. WOW! Incredible.... I did not expect so much movement from the holy spirit and love among us; So much openness and learning. Not only on a spiritual level but on a personal level. I had the most intense dream last night. Upon my waking up I was upset and had great fear. In my dream, I was holding Elli (a baby in the community whom is a few months old) and she kept looking into an empty room and smiling. I would look trying to figure out what was captivating her attention but there was nothing there that I could see. I tried to redirect her attention but to no avail. Something was definitely distracting her and getting her attention. That is when I realized it was something dark and evil. At that point, I felt the need to protect her since I realized it was coming after her as she was the youngest and most innocent and could be drawn in very easily. By drawing her in it was a way to get to the community body. I finally had to turn her entire body in order to keep her from being drawn to it. I picked her up and begin going from room to room saying in a loud voice, "You are not welcome here! Leave in the name of Jesus! Be Gone in the name of Jesus!" I kept repeating this over and over walking around to each room. Finally I saw dark figures moving out of the rooms and out the windows. I was a little fearful but okay since they were leaving. I felt safe. WRONG!!! At this point, time the entire body including some I didn't recognize, were all with me. I explained to them what was happening and they quickly began chanting the same statement, "You are not welcome! Be gone in the name of Jesus!" We felt pretty confident that everything was okay. However, that is when the war really began. Among us were wolves in sheep's clothing. They were no different than us except for the fact that they were slyly trying to get us to partake of their dark ways through what seemed to be normal every day activities for us. However, they were blinding the eyes of some. For example, I remember them handing out dinner plates with vile things on them for us to eat. If we partook of this, it would defile the name of Jesus. However, some were blinded and not able to see the real food on the plates. To them it looked good. Others were not (I was included in those that were not blinded) and we talked firmly and quickly to those that did not recognize it and at once their eyes were opened and they were disgusted by what they saw and threw it away from them immediately. At this point, we began to recognize the impostors. We then took the leader (which in my dream was the only one whose face I could see and the only one who would look directly at me with empty evil eyes) and the others to the window and tossed them out and they landed several stories below and died. At first I felt bad because I had just been involved in killing someone. This feeling did not last long as I realized that it was directed by God. Once again, we thought we were safe and continued about our business. While looking down at the bodies, I saw the leader get up and start coming up again to our home. He entered with his army which seemed to have grown in numbers. They were no longer hiding their identity because they knew we were aware of their presence. However they continued to try and possess all of us and did succeed in doing this to some. We tried to find and dispose of their tools and devices they used to attack. However, there were too many tools and the dark ones were coming on too fast for us to continue searching. At one point, the leader of the dark ones had everyone under his control except for me. This was a scary thing for me because I realize I was all alone with no help from any of my human bound warriors. However, I did not have so much fear that it overcame me. At this point I woke up. I had a tremendous amount of fear in me and began to pray for insight to this dream. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this was an inspirational dream from God. I had the overpowering feeling that I needed to share this with community. I was so distraught and confused upon my waking that I needed to stir. Everyone was asleep and I didn't want to disturb anyone. I wanted to talk with God and discuss what this meant in order to get deep understanding. I came downstairs and Wendi was asleep on the couch. Then I decided to go outside. As soon as I got out there, I knew immediately it was the right choice. I heard the stream and the birds and knew that I was with God. I talked with Him and a peace came over me. I understood the meaning of the dream and God confirmed to me that not only was this dream for me on a personal level but went far beyond that and was meant for the community. I shared this dream with the women this morning and they reconfirmed that they believed this was also meant for us as a body of Christ. They also confirmed that they had similar dreams over the last couple of weeks. Their dreams were that of an impending warfare.
Tiffany in particular had a dream about all of us literally wearing God's suit of armor and in battle with the enemy. Some of us were getting tired and our shields were getting heavy and we could no longer hold it up. The stronger ones had to step over top of the weaker ones to protect them with their shields until they were ready for battle again.
In my dream I believe that God was reiterating the fact that Satan is roaring about like a lion seeking to devour. Satan's devices are many and they are very deceptive. He blinds ones with his very sly tactics and sometimes we don't even recognize attacks including the attacker. There may even be times that we partake in an activity that we believe to be quite harmless and innocent however, it defiles the name of Jesus and everything God stands for. Every time we do this, it takes us further from the glory of God. We have to stand firm for God and his righteous ways. We have to be bold and act quickly when we see a Christian brother or sister in sketchy activity. We have to listen to each other and be ready to act quickly in regard to council. We need to recognize that the enemy is always present and ready to take us away from God and he doesn't care if we are willing or not. On a more personal level, we have to realize that sometimes we stand alone with God against the enemy. There are times when our earthly christian family are not immediately present. During that time, it may be more intimidating but do not fear for we have the most powerful God of all on our side. We must learn to listen to Him and act promptly to His words and obey with complete loyalty. We cannot fall as long as we have Him. We cannot lose as long as we have Him. Nothing can hurt us as long as we have Him. We may not hold onto our physical life but our bodies are not what is important. It is our spiritual relationship with God Almighty. It is our obedience and loyalty to Him that matters.
Father I have a deep hunger for Your companionship. I want to reside in Your presense. I don't want to live for myself or materialistic gain. I want to be a keeper of Your glorious creations. I want to live in peace and harmony. I no longer wish to desire a human companion. I wish to desire more of You. I wish to find complete satisfaction in and with You. You have never let me down. You have never hurt me. You have always been available to me night and day even before my existence. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that You are there for me, loving me. You want me even though I sin continually. I feel such desire to serve You. I feel there is a gift in my hands and heart from You and I do not know how to use it. I also feel that it is not the proper time for me to have access to this gift. Everything has a time and place and only by Your authority and timing do You release power and gifts in us.
I desire Father to be at peace. I desire for my mind to stop racing. I desire for this world to be a place of harmony of those serving You. I desire for You to be my King. I desire for You to crush the enemy and all of those serving him and take control of this world. Father I know You understand how difficult it is to live among the enemy. I desire to recognize attacks quickly and to be able to counter attack with righteousness.
Father I look around the world at the pain and suffering and it is so imeasurable. I feel immense pain within the deepest core of my soul. I feel a painful part of Your "heart" Father. I am sorry that Your creations pain You so. I reach out to You Father and cry out with tearful moaning at what I see and feel. Thank You Father for allowing me to experience You. Thank You for sharing a part of Yourself with me. I long for the day Your kingdom is restored completely. I long for the day when I no longer need to cry out with painful pleadings but only have joy and praises for You and all things. I long for the fullfillment of Your promise of Rev 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." I thank You for this promise.
Until that time Father I ask that You continue to protect me from the enemy and myself. Walk with me. Forgive me. Help me get through this life. Help me find mental peace while here on earth. Help me not desire human things but look higher and see further. I give myself to You Father. You know me better than I know myself. You know what will make me happy. You desire that we all be happy. I await that time Father when You hand over complete happiness. I trust in You Father. Lift my heavy heart at this time and strenthen me in order to continuing walking with You.
AMEN